Anger

Anger

Destruction

Pain

Frustration

Unknown

Irritation

Total

Irreversible

Complete

Utter

Chaos

Hell

Just

Broke

Loose

Hear

The

Siren

Sing

Am I wrong?

Is it wrong not to love him anymore?

Not to care?

He abandoned me...

Abandoned us.

I left,

He blamed me.

Placed blame...

Before trying to fix it.

He hurt me.

Left scars,

They are having horrors healing.

Tried to break me.

Am I as bad as him?

If I stay away?

Am I evil if i want him to stay out of my life?

Yes,

He did do a lot for me.

But can I forgive him?

If I can't...

Does that make me a monster?

Does it make me like him?

Never Superhero

I'm not a superhero.

I can't do everything,

Save everyone.

I try,

Lord (if he or she exists) knows,

I try.

I'd save everyone,

If only I could.

But I can't.

Especially the ones who won't let me.

This doesn't make me evil,

Nor does it make me a monster.

It doesn't mean I'm weak.

It means I'm smart enough to know,

When someone can't be saved.

Wise enough to know,

You can't save someone,

That doesn't want to be saved.

Most of all,

It means

I am strong enough to walk away.

If they are meant to survive they will.

I'm not going to shatter my heart again...

Not to watch someone else I love...

Try or succeed in/to kill themselves.

I'm strong enough to know I can't do it again.

I love you,

Dearest friend.

Always will.

Please forgive me.

Understand,

I can't be your hero.

Never could.

Understand

Try to understand.

This isn't me.

Wasn't planned.

Didn't want the hurt.

Wasn't in spite of you.

Had nothing to do with you.

Inner demons must be fought.

Couldn't tell you.

How could I?

Would be able to help?

Would you understand?

Would you care?

How do you save someone from themselves?

How do you help when they don't even know what's wrong?

Stop the bleeding.

It's invisible.

Clean the wound.

It's metaphorical.

Stop the tears.

They're a silent river.

Pick me up,

Dust me off.

I'm bruised.

I'm broken.

Try to understand.

It had to be done.

To save me.

You Never Knew

I knew...

I knew that I couldn't face you.

I knew you wouldn't understand.

If I told you...

What would you do?

Throw it in my face and call it a lie?

How would you know?

What makes you think you can even comprehend?

You told me we could talk about it.

To just come home.

But what you don't understand is that...

You don't want to know.

Don't really care.

If you did...

If you really cared...

You'd want to know.

I wouldn't be sitting here.

Silently screaming.

Tears escaping.

Broken hearted...

I wouldn't be on the verge of...

This.

Life would be...

Less wounded

Less empty.

I wouldn't want to scream at you.

I wouldn't be dying inside...

If you really cared you'd look inside,

You'd find what I did...

Wasn't who I am.

You'd know...

There was a reason.

But you don't know...

Because you never really cared.

Faces

A person can only wear so many faces.

Have so many hopes and dreams.

I can bite my tongue and pretend for now...

But...how long?

How long can that last?

How long before the truth shines through?

I'm running out of masks, of faces...

Running out of time and patience,

Of places to hide.

I'll smile and play along.

Until it all goes wrong.

You never knew the lies were...

Just that.

Lies.

Because you know,

Never did,

You never knew,

Just how well I hide,

The pain and lies can only stay,

That way for so long.

The face I wore was joy,

Bliss.

Underneath it all was the truth,

You never saw,

Behind the mask.

Look me in the eyes.

Tell me you don't see,

A crumbling soul before thee.

You know you do.

You didn't know before.

How could you?

I can only where so many faces.

It Will Be Okay.

You say it will be alright.

I feel it will be okay.

We know this will all be fine.

The then why am I so sad?

Why so nervous and scared?

We don't know what the future holds.

Don't know the outcome.

We know nothing of what lies ahead.

All we know is what we feel.

All I can do is jump in

And pray it will all be...

As you say.

Okay.

Give Me a Home

Please give me a home.

A place where no one else can ever roam.

A safe haven for you and me.

A place that we can just be,

Free always free.

Give me the home we can use,

To hide away from the evils,

They will never know as true.

This place that can only be

That which we decide to hide from the calamity.

Create a place I'll never want to leave.

Make it the palace of dreams,

The fantasy come to life.

Give me a place to call mine.

Give me the home I've wished for.

Let

Me

Close

My

Eyes

And

See

The

Home

I

Dream

Will

Be

One

Day

There

For

Me

Just

Me

How to Tell...

How to tell him I worry when I can't even say hello.

How to tell him I see the pain behind his eyes.

How to ask him to open up.

How to ask him to let me in.

How to tell him I'm scared.

How to open up.

How to see who he really is.

How to ask why he's so afraid...

Doesn't he know I care?

Doesn't he know I love him?

Doesn't he know he can't get rid of me that easily?

Does he even know how much I care?

Does he know everything I wish I could say?

How to tell him what I can't even admit to myself...

I don't know.

Hidden Scars

Just once can't you see.

Won't you open your eyes and look at me.

What do you see?

A happy girl with no worries?

Look again.

Still think you see me?

If you do you're wrong.

Look through the mask,

Deep into my eyes.

Start to realize that this should be no surprise.

I can be an open book but I require a key.

I may not be perfect or the happiest all the time.

I'm human there must be a reason no rhyme.

I'd love for you to see I'm not perfect,

I have my scars.

I can't just throw them to the stars.

I can hide them.

I don't want them anymore.

Please just show me that you won't leave when you see what hides inside of me.

Silence, Tears Fall

Silence

Tears

Fall

No

One

Knows

No

One

Can

Hear

Silence

Falls

As

The

Tears

Come

Rolling

Swiftly

If

Only

It

Were

Raining

No

One

Would

See

Them

No

One

Could

As

Tears

Of

A

Broken

Heart

And

Wounded

Soul

Fall

Silently

Question?

Do you know what it is like to live?

To truly live?

To feel love,

Pain,

Heartache,

And

Healing?

Do you know what it's like to live a free life?

A simple life?

Complex?

A life at all?

Do you question yourself?
Do you question life?

Reality?

Do you ever ask what if?

Do you ever wonder what things would be like if you did something differently?

How about if life wasn't what it is?

What if life as we new it was something completely different?

Ever ask yourself a thoughtful question and trip out over the possible answers?

Do you know what it is like to really live?

Mother's Day

Dear Mothers,

I'd like to thank moms for bringing us into this world. Thank you for putting up with us, loving us and raising us.

Mom, thank you for always being my friend and standing up for me even when you knew I was wrong. Thank you for being the fun Crazy Lady when we needed you.

Shannon, Thank you for always being here for me and putting me back in my place when I needed it. Thank you for taking me in when I needed to get out of there, for always being the escape I needed.

Mem, Thank you for helping take care of me and for treating me like your girl. Thank you for helping me with prom and everything else even after I decided not to go.

All of you thank you for trusting me and letting me know I can trust you. Thank you all for being my Mamas. I love and cherish all of you more than you know for all you've done for me.

Sincerely,

Madisynn Marie

Song of Myself

I am night yet I am day,

The starry night lit by the full moon.

The beautiful cloud filled rainy day I pray follows.

A contradicting book of emotions,

More of a diary;

Key lost to the beholder.

For most say I am hard if not impossible to read,

Yet my forever changing eyes reveal more.

Windows to the soul eyes are.

A witch I am as people say.

Loving the night and cloudy days meant to be dark and gloomy.

I find beauty there in the heavy dark clouds,

Threatening to burst at any moment in time.

Rain.

The best feeling in the world, dancing in the rain with the one you love.

Wrapped up in each others arms.

Feeling the sensation of their amazing kiss upon my lips.

Days like that I pray the sun never comes peaking through the clouds.

Wishing I could stay in that exact moment forever.

Frozen in time.

Time,

Such a scary thought.

I know what lies ahead.

It terrifies me,

Yet it excites me.

Like a baby bird ready to leave the nest.

I take flight from my isolated cage.

Ready to leave and never come back.

I am terrified of time.

Knowing that when I leave,

When I'm finally free,

I will be alone in this scary, crazy world.

I will be ready for that day.

I am strong like the tiger.

My instincts are sharp,

Perfect,

Like the creatures of the night.

I will be free and ready for my life to begin,

In that beautiful starry night of a full moon above.

The ocean waves beneath my feet.

Your warm embrace surrounding me.