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Friday, November 16, 2012

I am a faceless name.
I am a body-less  spirit.
I am a nothing,
A nobody...
I am anything but.
I may not be the prettiest face in all of Russia,
Or the best singer in all of Asia.
Hell I may be a talent-less fraud of a human being.
I am none sense for I am me.



Liar

You said you loved me.
You lied.
Said I was the only one.
You cheated with your ex.
Said you were done with the drugs.
You were never sober.
Said you missed me.
You never tried to see me when you "missed" me.

See you're done for I caught on. You can't keep stringing me along. I found a man who will love me for me. He's everything you never could be. You say he's worthless, he's a pansy, he's a baby and a phony. 
The only phony here is you. He loves me for all the things you hated. He thinks I am wonderful even if I drive him crazy. He is everything you said you could be and more. I will make this quick and easy for you.

He truly loves me and you, well I tried to be friends. I tried to make it work you said you would but you didn't. Instead you lied when you said I still mean something to you...you're never there anymore especially when I need you most...okay have it you're way...I'm nothing more than ancient history to you...


Saturday, June 16, 2012

Fight

People have always told me that I am a strong girl, though part of me has always known it, I never truly believed them. It wasn't because I thought they were lying or just trying to calm me down. No, it was something completely different, something I didn't realize until now. I couldn't believe them because I was blinded by feeling. I felt weak, I thought that because I felt weak I was. That it made me this weak scared little girl. I was wrong. Yes, I admit it I am scared of a lot of things. I feel like wuss who can't do anything but break down and cry, a pansy ass, worthless, little nobody. I don't know things about myself, my life or even my future. That's the point though, of life, I mean. It was never meant to be easy and that's what makes us feel weak isn't it? When we don't know whats to come and everything seems to knock us to our knees and keep us there. Life was meant to be worth the fight and it is even though we don't always see it. I am not weak because I am scared, hurt and broken. I am just the opposite. I am strong because I know how to face my fears and no matter what happens how to keep fighting. I can handle anything life throws at me because I stay and fight. Though I melt down in the moment and feel like giving up I won't. I refuse to check out of this life until my time on Earth is over. When life knocks me down, no matter how far I fall, I pick myself, dust myself off, and try again. I stand and fight and nothing in this world can stop me from being the woman I am meant to be and right there is my strength: The fight within.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Fight the Monster within


Can I trust you?

You who deceived me.
Me the innocent child.
Child of yours, never.
Never have I been yours to claim.
Claim the demon within.
Within yourself.

Can I give you forgiveness?
Forgiveness for betraying my trust.
Trust you never should have earned.
Earn the life you have taken from me.
Me, I survived your cruelty.
Cruelty of your black heart.
Heart turned to a black hole.

Can I love a traitor?
Traitors receive the death penalty.
Penalties are there to protect.
Protection is what I gave myself.
Myself is the one person I can trust.
Trust is not something I can give.
Give to anyone because of you.
You who has turned me into this.
This unforgiving monster.
Monster of a being.
Being that must be destroyed.

Can I fight the monster you've created of me?

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Worth the Fight


Hearts can break,

Souls can crumble,
Lives fall apart,
In the blink of an eye everything can be turned upside down.
Just as fast as your world shatters,
Someone could always come and save you.
Life is full of undesirable things.
The only way to deal is to dive in head first and fight.
Fight for not only your life but the things that matter the most to you.
When life brings you to your knees,
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again.
Blame yourself for your failures,
You refuse to try.
Life wasn't meant to be easy,
It is a fight.
Isn't it worth it?

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Choices


How do I do this?

Make such a huge decision?
Stay and be an adult?
Live on my own.
By my own rules.
A dream come true or is it?
Am I really ready for this?
Or am I just a kid playing dress up in mommy's clothes?
Can I really do this?
Or will trying kill me?
Do I try?
Or go with them?
Which adventure is worth my while?
Which path has the Goddess chosen for me?
If only it weren't such a blur.
How will I know what the right choice is?
Stay?
OR admit defeat and go?