Never did I think  that I would end up here.
Never did I think that I would be this way.
Never did I think that this would be my life.
Never did I think that this would be the world today.

I thought that at this age I would be somewhere else. Six feet under. I didn't see a life past the hell I was in. Back then I so lost in what I thought life should be compared to what it was. I thought that I was going to just loose it and never live past eighteen.

A little easier

Why does it all have to be so damn complicated?
Why can't life be just a little bit easier?
They say that god doesn't give you more than you can handle.
I laugh at this the gods just want to see me suffer.
There is so much I've been trough that I can't handle.
This life hasn't been easy at all but can't it get a little easier?
I'm not a bad person so why does it have to be so challenging?
I'm not asking to hand me everything on a silver platter but can't ya help me just a little?
Give me something I can handle make me feel like I'm not alone...something
Please?
...that's what I thought but t was worth the try....

What to do?

What do you do when nothing you say turns out right? What do you say when nothing you do works out the way you want it to? What happens when your world flips upside down? How do you cope when surviving feels like a chore? Ooohh how do you work it out when nothing seems to be okay? What happens when the life you knew one day just escapes from you one day?

Beauty Not so Much

Why does everyone hate him?
Why can't anyone see that I am with him because he saved me?
Why can't anyone tell that he's not the bastard they make him out to be?
He can be an ass,
He hates the world,
He doesn't want a part of the shit.
But he loves me.
This monster you think you see is just a person.
This is just a side to him.
Yeah he's a pain but I don't want better.
I know hes not perfect no one is.
But this isn't beauty and the beast.
If it was he'd be beauty and I'd be beast.

Invisible

What does it mean to be invisible?
To feel like no one cares?
Like no one can really see you...
What is it like to be surrounded by people every day,
To be bleeding inside,
Yet no one,
Not a single person,
Can see that something is eating you from the inside out.
To live in a house full of so called family,
But not a single person looks up once.
No one asks if you're okay.
No one cares that you're slowly dying.
What is it like to be invisible?
You can see everyone.
Everyone but me.

Dear Ex Lover

Dear Ex Lover,
I know how hard this must be for you.
I hate that things had to be like this,
That they had to be so horrible for you.
It isn't fair to you,
Having to give up someone you love so much.
Not because it's what you want but
Because it's what you had to do.
For me, to me, in spite of me.
I'm sorry that things had to be this way,
That you had to get the broken end of things.
I guess hearts really don't break even.
Know this though,
I will always love you,
Respect you for the things you had to do for me.
I'm sorry you couldn't give me everything I needed.
I love you for caring so much,
For doing what is right for me,
Even though it kills you inside.
Know that no matter what,
If we are meant to be,
We will be together again someday.
If not I will be your friend forever
AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.
Forever a part of you,
Your Almost Forever Lover  

Dear Ex Best Friend

Dear Ex Best Friend,
I know you never intended to hurt me.
I think a part of me always knew,
I was hurt because weather what you said was true or not,
It was the past, four to five years in the past.
I didn't want to know because I honestly didn't care.
I was so happy to be with him.
You're right I could do better but I didn't want to.
I loved him, still do.
Either way I never hated you.
Your source pissed me off to no extent,
You believing them over my happiness hurt.
I was hurt by you but never hated you.
You know me oh so well honey,
You know I will never hate you just be pissed for a while.
I'm thankful to have you in my life again.
I never knew how much I missed you until you text me that day.
I will always be your best friend and you mine.
No matter how bad or long our fights are.
I love you,
Newly Found Forgiveness